Series Skid
How to Work Up The Nerve to Talk to People {Part 2}
Or How to Meet People on the Internet or Anywhere Else Ever {Part 2}
Last post we talked about some reasons why you might not want to go up to random people on the street. Today I plan to tell you about how to avoid these fears and allow yourself to start conversations.
You need to take a deep breath
Some people are naturally kind of wary when going up to new people. You should work on calming yourself down before you make your move.
The best way to calm your nerves is to think of the worst possible scenario.
Come to terms with the most horrible thing that could happen
Really think about it. What are you scared of?
Is it rejection?
Remind yourself you don’t know this person, and remember that if you fail at becoming part of their network, you’re only left with what you have now. If you’re going to ask this person for a favor you need desperately, try and remind yourself of your other options. Your fate will almost never ride with one stranger.
Going up to a stranger and failing is just the same as never talking to them at all. No more, no less.
Worried about humiliation?
Even if this person laughs in your face, spits on you and makes a huge scene of how you started talking to them from nowhere, think about what that says about them. If they get they’re little group too mock you, leave! You don’t need that kind of person! This is a connection that will not help you. Keep in mind that no matter what you were hoping to get out of this kind of person, you would have had to bend over backwards to get it.
Making a fool of yourself is very difficult if your comfortable in your own skin. How you handle the situation can completely change the outcome.
Once, in my first year of high school, a friend was worried about going on stage by herself
She told me that knowing I was there would help her be strong in her presentation. I told her I would gladly stand there and support her.
The teacher running the event told me that I couldn’t wait on stage, because it was an election and only participants could stay up there. I said no problem, and positioned myself way up on the bleachers across the gym from the stage entrance. I told my friend to give me a shout-out and that I would run down and make a big thing about it, announcing myself as her entourage.
She got called up. She gave me my shout-out. I began to run down the bleachers
When I reached the bottom, I made it about four feet and tripped on a cord. I flew nearly three feet through the air and landed face first on the floor, skidding and ripping my pants. It was worse then a cartoon. Silence. A few giggles. I stood up and watch over a thousands teenagers about to laugh at me.
I yelled “I’m O-K!” And began to laugh hysterically. The world laughed with me
I got on stage and the candidates were ablaze. I yelled into the microphone that I was fine, and that be had some serious business to get to. Giggling through the presentation, everyone laughed when I said I was for hire to be the bodyguard for the person with enough cupcakes.
I got 15 different offers that day. I made nearly 30 new friends
I earned school wide fame {and no, not that everyone was making fun of me. I’ve been made fun of before, and they were truly impressed that I recovered}.
How I do it
I remind myself that if I fail in front of a whole room, running off and hiding only makes me seem less to them. If I run into a wall and laugh at myself, people will diffuse. They immediately realize that making fun of me means nothing. Even if they still do, who cares? Ignore them, focus on those who come to you and ask if your ok. Ask the stunned onlookers what they think of your attempt at going through walls.
Maybe neither of these things bother you, maybe it’s some third thing
Just remember it’s never as bad as you think. These people are still people. They long for companionship and hope to be accepted just like you. They’re here to be part of something, just like you. You have nothing to fear.
About the Author
Aislyn Laurent is the publisher of LifeNoodle: Online Business Beginning To End. She like ice cream, obsessing over her business, and making new friends.
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